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Epilogue

Jasher sat peacefully on the red lounge couch design he had lifted from 1800’s France, resting perfectly in the right angle’d divot he had taken out of the side of the metallic asteroid. Kay showed up moments later to sit beside him, and watch the spectacle.

“I tried to warn them.” said Jasher. He knew the explosion would be easily visible from this vantage point, and it was perfectly situated so they’d not have to crane their necks.

“They’ll kick out both Mars and Venus with the explosion, and send Mercury into a short death orbit around their Sun.” said Kay.

This was tradition when they botched things so bad, they’d run out of remaining timelines. Some version of this ritual would be performed. Typically, when they’d mess up this bad, it meant they simply needed a break.

Jasher whipped up a table, and threw some of their favorite RC Cola on it, along with red plastic cups. Jasher poured them each a cup. “Oh, 1988.” said Kay. They spent vast amounts of real time traveling between…

Has a long talk with a friend ever made you realize you are very stupid?
"You need to start over at the beginning."
me: "I don't even know where that is."
"All you've been doing is writing chapters for the book you want to write but can't see."
me: "Explain."
"All the short stories you've been writing because you have writers block are just parts of the big story you want to write. So write  it."
me: "Oh. I'll still need a beginning."
"Pick one. Doesn't matter. You can change it later."
So I picked one.
But It's Your Data
There's a little excerpt in the beginning from an unpublished story about the Josh Martin human that becomes the Food Universe Jasher. I'm going to start writing a story here in chapters called simply:
𝓙𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓻
I've never written that story. I always start some other time. The story needs to start when Josh Martin accidentally wins the Jasher Personality War and beco…

"Don't you know that a star burns best?"

"You think I'm lying" said Jasher plainly. "I tell you what. You don't have any concept the energy it costs to do what I've been doing here forever. I'll turn the shit off. I warned you. God, I wish Kay was here to see this."
Wolf News main anchor, Bret Starling was ready. This was his moment. The moment that would define his entire career. The guy that had just appeared out of thin air an hour ago was the one Washington called about that could just show up and get right past security. The guy that put the space ship in front of the moon. It was later explained that he hacked the satellite feeds. This guy was a super hacker. If he was careful here, he'd win a daytime Emmy.
Suddenly, next to the hippy looking hacker guy, out of thin air was... no other way to say this, what looked for all the world like Audrey Hepburn. Just, boom. One second nobody, the next, there.

Ah, thought Bret, this was one…