"What the fuck does it matter now, YOU WON. You and your fucking Ridestars won."
"No, not really. You kinda won too." Said Jasher matter-of-fact-ly.
"How did I win asshole?" shrieked Cecilia from a pit of despair so deep. She was literally being tormented by her nemesis now.
"Because the tiny hole you ripped through a carefully calculated section of spacetime was two-way. I sent my guy forward while me from then sent me back. We synced. I won the personality war." Said the Jasher that has always won since existing.
(Note: The awakened lost 1992 Earth -3233994677994321233 or, The "Food Universe" shard has been the unequivocal winner of over 19 billion personality wars that result when long lost Jasher shards reconnect in our broken Multiverse. The "Food Universe" is the one where the Earth becomes Restaurant to the Universe and builds a huge Dyson Sphere around the entire solar system, and makes huge cow and chicken farms. Humans literally becomes the wealthiest race in the Universe with fast food.
There's no mystery here. If that Jasher prevails every time, The Multiverse keeps getting Jasher stationed in the favorite Universe in the history of our entire Multiverse. A galactic war was ended with the promise of chicken nuggets once. It's the most peaceful Universe on record. Jasher loves it. While it stays the "steering Universe", Jasher has broad impunity. The ONE TIME this Jasher lost a personality war resulted in 4 Billion years of darkness. The only positive result of that now terminated timeline, one amazing Cecilia. In fact, the most amazing being named Cecilia that has ever lived out of over 400 trillion of them across the Multiverse in existence.)
There's no mystery here. If that Jasher prevails every time, The Multiverse keeps getting Jasher stationed in the favorite Universe in the history of our entire Multiverse. A galactic war was ended with the promise of chicken nuggets once. It's the most peaceful Universe on record. Jasher loves it. While it stays the "steering Universe", Jasher has broad impunity. The ONE TIME this Jasher lost a personality war resulted in 4 Billion years of darkness. The only positive result of that now terminated timeline, one amazing Cecilia. In fact, the most amazing being named Cecilia that has ever lived out of over 400 trillion of them across the Multiverse in existence.)
"You literally created your own demise. Better, you created the need for me to ever care about Ridestars at all. You are a Paradox Owner. Grats. You are an elite beyond measure. You are only the 5th Paradox Owner in the history of all Multiverse, and you are the very first mortal one. Your life had a span when you did the amazing. Could you please stop avoiding my friendship. You are so impressive it's painful."
Jasher extended a hand and a smile. Cecilia was beginning to figure out Jasher was not who she thought he was.
Imagine a very petite human blonde woman. Crystal blue eyes. Victorian features. Small yet sharp bladed nose. Now, make her look about 22. Now make her only 4 foot 9. Now make her hair silver instead of blonde, and give her 3000 years of being a elite member of an assassination state, the last 4 or so as a begrudging leader.
"I'm reading the data, I got the sync. Better, I can put so many great people on walking back up there now and fixing your broken beautiful spiral. My God what a beautiful Galaxy you had. No wonder you fought so hard to save it."
Imagine a very petite human blonde woman. Crystal blue eyes. Victorian features. Small yet sharp bladed nose. Now, make her look about 22. Now make her only 4 foot 9. Now make her hair silver instead of blonde, and give her 3000 years of being a elite member of an assassination state, the last 4 or so as a begrudging leader.
"I'm reading the data, I got the sync. Better, I can put so many great people on walking back up there now and fixing your broken beautiful spiral. My God what a beautiful Galaxy you had. No wonder you fought so hard to save it."
Cecilia made an uncertain frowny face, granted she accepted his hand. Let him pull her to her feet. He saw this.
"Boaz. You hungry?" asked Jasher.
"You have no dimension. That's the irony here you one trick pony. You boring fuck." said Boaz.
"Wow, that's harsh. She's extra-dimensional Boaz. Fucking Hain had NO BUSINESS even talking to someone this amazing. He was lucky she fell for his bullshit. Because of what and who she is, until I can fix her like I fixed you somewhat.."
That stung Boaz a little, but at the same time, Boaz resisted a lot of lessons and admittedly had to learn a bunch the hard way. Boaz was actually grateful that Jasher was patient about Boaz's need to bang his head against the walls for a while before figuring things out. He got there. You have to understand, all Boaz was ever supposed to be was a beautiful 30 mile long battle cruiser.
"But you are still taking all of us to your bullshit restaurant, right?" interrupted Boaz.
"FINE." said Jasher in a way that Boaz was worried about.
"I'll take you to the 2090 version. When it opens up full access to all the extra-dimentional beings the Earth can't handle. At that time, I've capture or found or accidentally made at least 10,000 of them, and they love great food also, but don't want to cause problems in the lower dimensions. A lot of those folks I talk with and negotiate into becoming very powerful protectors in the Food Universe. It's a truly evil way to cheat and have extra points for Personality Wars. It's totally cheating but, it's ok if I do it."
Almost instantly, the seven of them (Johnny, Mellie, Milly, Cecilia, Jasher, Boaz (Jasher figured out Boaz was sensitive about Jasher fucking with his appearance, and went with the young Jessie James he had based his original Boaz human on that Boaz had come to think of as "himself". Not a bad looking man). Kay, who had been thinking she was super sneaky, but Jasher saw her, got looped into the booth with them in the 2090 "Black Sun" inspired version of Jasher's burger joint.
Seated all of five whole seconds when one Mai Tsuba ( คɭɭ gѻɗร คɼﻉ ɦપ๓คก ) rushed up, breaking a new record. She was the first person to beat waitstaff to a table in the history of Jasher's extra-dimensional burger joint.
"Jasher! Meet Clover!"
Jasher looked at for all the world what looked like a real Magical Girl. "Holy shit. You did it."
A confused waitress showed up. "Oh, hey Claire. We need seats and stuff for two more clearly. I have to hear how this happened."
Mai Tsuba beamed.
Clover was absolutely stunningly pretty. Her pupils were clover shaped, which matched her entire "clover" themed appearance, but it went beyond that. She literally wreaked of the stuff. "I kinda need your help with this one. She didn't destroy a Universe, but she did exit it all on her own." said Mai.
"Well, she looks very well behaved." said Jasher.
For his part, Jasher was looking around and making plans for how to deal with "Clover" when she inevitably flipped out and started trying to kill everyone. Not that he doubted Mai. Just, there's a reason "Magical Girls" never actually happen on purpose, and have to be forced into existence. And there's a reason everybody typically gives up, or cheats and makes either robots or artificial life forms so contrived they might as well be robots. A life form needs some motivation to be a hero for justice. Nine times out of ten when you give a little kid of any kind unchecked power, the first thing they do is start using that power to get things they want. With little girls, it's worse. One of the first things a little girl does is kill, eat, or become some other little girl that has been her rival. They also tend to kill their entire families. This can be incredibly depressing for someone like Mai Tsuba who grew up loving them in Anime and Manga. "She talks, I swear." said Mai.
Then Clover spoke and Jasher realized he had nothing to worry about. She looked up, right at Jasher, and said the following with no break.
"First of all, clover shaped pupils are stupid. I kept them out of some deference. I was going to fix them. But at the same time... I just don't see the point. You are the Sysadmin right? Meeting you means there's nothing else to do now really. But I can't die so I guess I just wait around here for the end of the Multiverse now?"
"You gave her token access to our main datastore and made her multidimensional. I have to say, that's a damn creative solution Mai. I was worried at first."
"I know. I could tell." said Mai sheepishly. "Clearly I messed up again."
"No, you did not. Let's fix those eyes Clover. Do you like my eyes?" Jasher was surprised that Mai didn't recognize classic "End of the World" syndrome. Clover was depressed about her eyes. That's all. She was clearly still a girl. That's all. A highly intelligent multidimensional girl, but one nonetheless. Don't you get pissy when there's something about your appearance you hate but can't change?
Clover leaned in close to Jasher's face to look at his eyes. The scent of actual clover was overpowering. "Please tell me that's a perfume or something" pleaded Jasher. "Nope. Part of me is based on a plant derived from Trifolium dubium. It's actually very clever, or clover as it were." then smiled at herself.
Jasher was stunned for a moment at how casually she dropped the pun, then busted up laughing, huge belly laugh, his head thrown back. "You made us a brand new friend is what you did Mai. She's amazing. You are delightful Clover."
"Yes. And I mean yes, I'd love to have eyes like yours." said Clover.
"Please make the green match!" asked Mai.
"No" offered Jasher. "Things don't have to match Mai."
"Thank you." said Clover softly as she felt her eyes suddenly adjust, and let in light more efficiently.
"Is your life always like this?" asked Cecilia quietly. She had been taking it all in.
"You mean, crazy shit happening constantly? That's in the job description." said Jasher.
"No, I mean, happy. You are all so happy. I'm just sitting here waiting for this dream to end. Waiting for my punishment." said Cecilia.
"Punishment?" said Jasher questioningly.
"Cecilia, let me put your mind to rest. We are taking a short break here to get some food, then I'm going to start working on the temporal real estate you just handed me. I needed access to that ass end of the timeline really bad. You made that connection for me. I'm still in the process of merging data, but, it's really looking like you just handed me the entire history. I've needed this so bad. I can't fix this broken shithole until I have it all, and a few other things. So no, you aren't getting punished hun. You handed me a time paradox I could use to gain access to full history. So now your broken bullshit doesn't have to happen. Let me show you something. This is just a first look at what we'll be doing."
Jasher threw what looked like a three dimensional representation of a galaxy over their table. "This is your galaxy in roughly 3 Billion years."
"Wait, the real one or just some image of it?" asked Cecilia shocked.
"Um, there's really no difference to me so I guess the real one. Either way, watch this."
A series of colored overlays, like cloudy colored regions appeared somehow distinct from each other. The effect was amazing.
"The reds there are what I call an intent map. You can map the negative and positive intents in a Galaxy. So I know I need to do work there. The rest of them, are various other factors. There are fifteen areas in total you can tweak to a certain extent without losing anybody crucial to the timeline. Here's an ancient algorithm that does the work for me. Wrote this one... I want to say about eight billion years ago to quickly deal with a very warlike race that kept blowing up stars."
A string of what you'd expect to be insanely difficult definitions began to appear and form, and move between each other in an amazing physical representation of the relationship between the various parts of the algorithm. It made understanding it so much easier. Clover got it. "Oh, that's so clever." Jasher noted she didn't abuse the pun again.
"So, without actually doing it, here's how much of an overall improvement this algorithm can make to your just about to cross the line from bad to terribly dark Galaxy."
As they watched, Jasher looped a span of time equal to about 500 years. In that time, all 15 colors slowly disappeared, not entirely, but almost, and were replaced with a beautiful shade of pink.
"And that's just one Galaxy. Let's zoom in. Let me show you something."
Jasher zoomed in hard on one of the denser arms of the beautiful spiral. "That is a stunning galaxy you have there. It's going to be so amazingly beautiful once I fix this place. I believe it will end up shot through with golds and whites." Cecilia made a note to ask Jasher what he meant later.
Jasher picked what at first looked like a dull star, but became a beautiful star surrounded by what looked like arms. Long beautiful silver arms surrounded the star and ended in absolutely massive platforms. Jasher picked one and zoomed in. The size of the immense flat plane was such that at first you couldn't tell that the moving carpet below was millions upon millions of people that had shown up for the concert. "Somebody's playing!" said Johnny, who like his sisters, had also remained mostly speechless. This wasn't just the big kids talking, or the parents talking, this was like Gods talking. So he'd wait.
Jasher shifted the point of view to the stage. On the stage itself, there was an incredibly tiny platform for musicans and instruments. Behind that platform was a pure white wall hundreds of miles high. Projected onto that wall, the band started playing an absolutely beautiful, tender song that Jasher knew right away.
Johnny smiled a big smile. So did Milly and Merle. They watched as some kids did an absolutely amazing cover of "Mom". A simple yet beautiful song all three of them had written together about their mother (quick note here: I got a bug up my ass and actually wrote the song "Mom". I'll include it in the story at some point). Three billion years in the future, in another galaxy, their song was being played. They had lucked out and caught the opening riff. Jasher threw the point of view back so you could see both the real stage, and the massive projection behind them. Jasher threw the projection up on the walls of the restaurant and for three minutes and five seconds, a few hundred special beings, most wished into existence by massive groups of people on far off worlds, but some from Earth, quietly listened to the song. Some smiled, some weeped. Some had never heard music before.
Everyone was mesmerized but Cecilia. She was the picture of quiet shielded guilt.
"In this future, the Ridestars don't inspire an insane death cult that spreads across the Universe, killing everyone. In this future, the Ridestars had guidance, a stronger bond and an even deeper love than they do now."
"How though? I mean I kinda get the algorithm, but I don't understand." said Cecilia honestly.
"Oh, I'll make it very simple. I've got the most amazing mortal being I've ever met, a magical girl, and perhaps the greatest three piece rock band in history. I've never had so much to work with. This isn't just going to be easy, it's going to be fun. It writes itself." said Jasher.
"Cecilia, I know for a fact you play guitar incredibly well." said Jasher slyly.
This made Johnny light up. "Really?"
"Yes. I mean we all had to learn to do battle but I was expected to be flawless so..." Cecilia was not used to positive attention yet. It would take time.
"You did battle playing guitars?" asked Milly in awe. She was a bass player, but still picked up an acoustic for certain numbers with Johnny. Merle was just accidentally born without the drum set she should have been born with. She knew what she was going do with her life when she was five.
Jasher noticed how Cecilia started lighting up a little as she talked to the Ridestar girls. He did believe he saw just a hint of her being starstruck.
"Clover, access information from the data feed on concert pianists." offered Jasher.
"Ok. Oh, that looks fun." said Clover as her eyes glazed over, diving deep into the archives.
"See, Johnny is naturally temporal. It's just, a bizarre trait amongst Earth humans, but was a normal trait with my people. If that hadn't been the case? We wouldn't be talking right now. I check every temporal human to see if they could be the next Seeker. That's how I picked up on what was going on. Johnny can't be one but hopefully some distant relative of his will be. So it's kinda in my best interests to let Johnny get out there and meet the rest of the human, and other societies that exist and have for quite some time beyond Earth.
I mean, I know you like Johnny. I can already see you learning a lot of great guitar from him. And I can see how he's looking at you. Imagine learning guitar from the guy that came up with over sixty chord progressions that essentially defined music for five billion years. Imagine him having your perfect technical chops to leverage on stage."
Johnny wasn't just smiling now. Johnny was hopeful for something.
Cecilia was so far removed from any kind of stable environment that she had completely missed the fact that Johnny Ridestar, THE Johnny Ridestar, had stars in his eyes for her. He did, but he was also confused because of all this God talk. He thought she was a Goddess. And Goddesses could do things. Change things. So to Johnny, not only was she the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, she might be able to make things right.
Cecilia immediately wanted to talk to Jasher about something that had just become incredibly important to her. "Jasher, can we talk about something in private away from here?"
"No." And he turned with a look of complete understanding on his face. "You'll understand."
"Can I talk to her? I mean I'm nobody here. You are all Gods and so important. I'm just some loser that misses his mom so can I talk to the Goddess that took my mom and ask her to give my mom back? If it's about being in the band, of course you can be in the band if you give me my mom back." said Johnny Ridestar.
Tears streamed out of Cecilia's eyes and she looked at Johnny. "You stupid kind beautiful man. You knew. You knew this whole time and you were still nice to me. I'm no Goddess. I'm a fucking monster." Cecilia was crying so hard now she was hyperventilating. She started to get light-headed and felt herself falling sideways out of the booth towards the floor. Like a shot, Johnny slide out of his side booth, moved, and caught her before she hit the floor.
"You are going to learn to stop underestimating Johnny. Some people are just right on time. It's in their nature. And that's better than most abilities." said Jasher with a smile.
"Can you bring my mom back? I think she'd really like you. You are a lot alike." asked Johnny quietly. He was shaking a little as he held her. She made him nervous, but in a good way.
Cecilia looked up into Johnny's eyes. "I can't. I'm so sorry. I don't have any power here."
"But if you could..." said Jasher quietly.
"IF I COULD I WOULD GIVE UP MY LIFE TO BRING HER BACK." shouted Cecilia very loudly. A loud [WRRRWWRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!] sound vibrated outward from Cecilia and she gasped as if winded. Johnny almost dropped her. Folks tables over quieted down and looked towards the commotion. She collected herself and stood before Jasher completely confused yet ready to plead.
"And you just broke the paradox as the paradox owner. And that's why you'll make an excellent guitarist in the band. You've got so much material to draw on. And you'll have an excellent manager. The one the Ridestars would have needed to become what they will become with their second guitarist and Magical Girl keyboardist."
"grant" said Jasher softly, yet it seemed to echo forever. "Cecilia is now Cecilia Ridestar. Accept?"
"What does that mean?" asked Cecilia.
"It means the ultimate reward for 3000 years of hell you personally went through trying to save your galaxy. You simply met Hain. After that meeting, nothing was your fault. Hain was literally ten orders of magnitude smarter than you, and used your hatreds against you. Besides, the end result was, my friend got to kill his greatest nemesis, the most dangerous being in our galaxy. You united the entire timeline, enabling the great healing of the Multiverse, and you made it possible for the music of the Ridestars to save our Multiverse and give me yet a fifth potential way to save us all. For all of that, any sins can be forgiven. If you had never been born, saving this Multiverse wouldn't have even been possible. Your reward for 3000 years of absolute hell will be eternal bliss as part of the force that is a catalyst that helps save a Multiverse with amazing music. Do you accept?"
"Cecilia Ridestar is now granted the right to bring back one Momma Ridestar, pulled directly from the -3233994677994321233 Universe moments before she was tragically erased from all existence by the second most powerful tear in the Multiverse ever, created by what amounted to a shape charge made from a pulsar. Terrifying brilliant work. I may copy it."
"You'll bring her back?" asked Cecilia now on her feet.
"Of course. Now that the paradox you created is resolved, I can."
"Do it please now!" said Cecilia Ridestar.
Hypatia Barnes suddenly blinked back into existence. A side effect of this happening in Jasher's multidimensional bar was, she was now a multidimensional being. An amazingly beautiful, and incredibly naturally talented black woman that sang to her children and was delighted when they sang back from the crib. But you better call her Momma Ridestar if you know what's good for you. She was proud of her kids. And if you miss practice? Even Jasher can't help you.
"KIDS!" was the first word out of Hypatia's mouth. Millie and Merle rush mom for big hugs. Johnny was holding Cecilia as she cried again, so conflicted, but rushed to embrace his mother after doing a quick eye check with her. It was absolutely adorable. Cecilia had fallen in love with Johnny Ridestar.
"Is this the afterlife?" asked Momma Ridestar.
"Well," started Jasher but Boaz was ready. "No, don't do that." said Boaz.
"What?" asked Jasher honestly.
"You are about to do the thing where you draw comparisons between what she said, and reality, and make an argument that this is the afterlife in a way."
"She was brought back from the dead and is now in a higher-dimensional restaurant with her kids. It's a fair comparison."
"Restaurant? Good I'm so hungry." said Momma Ridestar. "What's good here?"
"Well, she looks very well behaved." said Jasher.
For his part, Jasher was looking around and making plans for how to deal with "Clover" when she inevitably flipped out and started trying to kill everyone. Not that he doubted Mai. Just, there's a reason "Magical Girls" never actually happen on purpose, and have to be forced into existence. And there's a reason everybody typically gives up, or cheats and makes either robots or artificial life forms so contrived they might as well be robots. A life form needs some motivation to be a hero for justice. Nine times out of ten when you give a little kid of any kind unchecked power, the first thing they do is start using that power to get things they want. With little girls, it's worse. One of the first things a little girl does is kill, eat, or become some other little girl that has been her rival. They also tend to kill their entire families. This can be incredibly depressing for someone like Mai Tsuba who grew up loving them in Anime and Manga. "She talks, I swear." said Mai.
Then Clover spoke and Jasher realized he had nothing to worry about. She looked up, right at Jasher, and said the following with no break.
"First of all, clover shaped pupils are stupid. I kept them out of some deference. I was going to fix them. But at the same time... I just don't see the point. You are the Sysadmin right? Meeting you means there's nothing else to do now really. But I can't die so I guess I just wait around here for the end of the Multiverse now?"
"You gave her token access to our main datastore and made her multidimensional. I have to say, that's a damn creative solution Mai. I was worried at first."
"I know. I could tell." said Mai sheepishly. "Clearly I messed up again."
"No, you did not. Let's fix those eyes Clover. Do you like my eyes?" Jasher was surprised that Mai didn't recognize classic "End of the World" syndrome. Clover was depressed about her eyes. That's all. She was clearly still a girl. That's all. A highly intelligent multidimensional girl, but one nonetheless. Don't you get pissy when there's something about your appearance you hate but can't change?
Clover leaned in close to Jasher's face to look at his eyes. The scent of actual clover was overpowering. "Please tell me that's a perfume or something" pleaded Jasher. "Nope. Part of me is based on a plant derived from Trifolium dubium. It's actually very clever, or clover as it were." then smiled at herself.
Jasher was stunned for a moment at how casually she dropped the pun, then busted up laughing, huge belly laugh, his head thrown back. "You made us a brand new friend is what you did Mai. She's amazing. You are delightful Clover."
"Yes. And I mean yes, I'd love to have eyes like yours." said Clover.
"Please make the green match!" asked Mai.
"No" offered Jasher. "Things don't have to match Mai."
"Thank you." said Clover softly as she felt her eyes suddenly adjust, and let in light more efficiently.
"Is your life always like this?" asked Cecilia quietly. She had been taking it all in.
"You mean, crazy shit happening constantly? That's in the job description." said Jasher.
"No, I mean, happy. You are all so happy. I'm just sitting here waiting for this dream to end. Waiting for my punishment." said Cecilia.
"Punishment?" said Jasher questioningly.
"Cecilia, let me put your mind to rest. We are taking a short break here to get some food, then I'm going to start working on the temporal real estate you just handed me. I needed access to that ass end of the timeline really bad. You made that connection for me. I'm still in the process of merging data, but, it's really looking like you just handed me the entire history. I've needed this so bad. I can't fix this broken shithole until I have it all, and a few other things. So no, you aren't getting punished hun. You handed me a time paradox I could use to gain access to full history. So now your broken bullshit doesn't have to happen. Let me show you something. This is just a first look at what we'll be doing."
Jasher threw what looked like a three dimensional representation of a galaxy over their table. "This is your galaxy in roughly 3 Billion years."
"Wait, the real one or just some image of it?" asked Cecilia shocked.
"Um, there's really no difference to me so I guess the real one. Either way, watch this."
A series of colored overlays, like cloudy colored regions appeared somehow distinct from each other. The effect was amazing.
"The reds there are what I call an intent map. You can map the negative and positive intents in a Galaxy. So I know I need to do work there. The rest of them, are various other factors. There are fifteen areas in total you can tweak to a certain extent without losing anybody crucial to the timeline. Here's an ancient algorithm that does the work for me. Wrote this one... I want to say about eight billion years ago to quickly deal with a very warlike race that kept blowing up stars."
A string of what you'd expect to be insanely difficult definitions began to appear and form, and move between each other in an amazing physical representation of the relationship between the various parts of the algorithm. It made understanding it so much easier. Clover got it. "Oh, that's so clever." Jasher noted she didn't abuse the pun again.
"So, without actually doing it, here's how much of an overall improvement this algorithm can make to your just about to cross the line from bad to terribly dark Galaxy."
As they watched, Jasher looped a span of time equal to about 500 years. In that time, all 15 colors slowly disappeared, not entirely, but almost, and were replaced with a beautiful shade of pink.
"And that's just one Galaxy. Let's zoom in. Let me show you something."
Jasher zoomed in hard on one of the denser arms of the beautiful spiral. "That is a stunning galaxy you have there. It's going to be so amazingly beautiful once I fix this place. I believe it will end up shot through with golds and whites." Cecilia made a note to ask Jasher what he meant later.
Jasher picked what at first looked like a dull star, but became a beautiful star surrounded by what looked like arms. Long beautiful silver arms surrounded the star and ended in absolutely massive platforms. Jasher picked one and zoomed in. The size of the immense flat plane was such that at first you couldn't tell that the moving carpet below was millions upon millions of people that had shown up for the concert. "Somebody's playing!" said Johnny, who like his sisters, had also remained mostly speechless. This wasn't just the big kids talking, or the parents talking, this was like Gods talking. So he'd wait.
Jasher shifted the point of view to the stage. On the stage itself, there was an incredibly tiny platform for musicans and instruments. Behind that platform was a pure white wall hundreds of miles high. Projected onto that wall, the band started playing an absolutely beautiful, tender song that Jasher knew right away.
Johnny smiled a big smile. So did Milly and Merle. They watched as some kids did an absolutely amazing cover of "Mom". A simple yet beautiful song all three of them had written together about their mother (quick note here: I got a bug up my ass and actually wrote the song "Mom". I'll include it in the story at some point). Three billion years in the future, in another galaxy, their song was being played. They had lucked out and caught the opening riff. Jasher threw the point of view back so you could see both the real stage, and the massive projection behind them. Jasher threw the projection up on the walls of the restaurant and for three minutes and five seconds, a few hundred special beings, most wished into existence by massive groups of people on far off worlds, but some from Earth, quietly listened to the song. Some smiled, some weeped. Some had never heard music before.
Everyone was mesmerized but Cecilia. She was the picture of quiet shielded guilt.
"In this future, the Ridestars don't inspire an insane death cult that spreads across the Universe, killing everyone. In this future, the Ridestars had guidance, a stronger bond and an even deeper love than they do now."
Suddenly it all clicked. Like some wouldbe Keima Katsuragi, Jasher saw the ending.
"Oh, I'll make it very simple. I've got the most amazing mortal being I've ever met, a magical girl, and perhaps the greatest three piece rock band in history. I've never had so much to work with. This isn't just going to be easy, it's going to be fun. It writes itself." said Jasher.
"Cecilia, I know for a fact you play guitar incredibly well." said Jasher slyly.
This made Johnny light up. "Really?"
"Yes. I mean we all had to learn to do battle but I was expected to be flawless so..." Cecilia was not used to positive attention yet. It would take time.
"You did battle playing guitars?" asked Milly in awe. She was a bass player, but still picked up an acoustic for certain numbers with Johnny. Merle was just accidentally born without the drum set she should have been born with. She knew what she was going do with her life when she was five.
Jasher noticed how Cecilia started lighting up a little as she talked to the Ridestar girls. He did believe he saw just a hint of her being starstruck.
"Ok. Oh, that looks fun." said Clover as her eyes glazed over, diving deep into the archives.
"See, Johnny is naturally temporal. It's just, a bizarre trait amongst Earth humans, but was a normal trait with my people. If that hadn't been the case? We wouldn't be talking right now. I check every temporal human to see if they could be the next Seeker. That's how I picked up on what was going on. Johnny can't be one but hopefully some distant relative of his will be. So it's kinda in my best interests to let Johnny get out there and meet the rest of the human, and other societies that exist and have for quite some time beyond Earth.
I mean, I know you like Johnny. I can already see you learning a lot of great guitar from him. And I can see how he's looking at you. Imagine learning guitar from the guy that came up with over sixty chord progressions that essentially defined music for five billion years. Imagine him having your perfect technical chops to leverage on stage."
Johnny wasn't just smiling now. Johnny was hopeful for something.
Cecilia was so far removed from any kind of stable environment that she had completely missed the fact that Johnny Ridestar, THE Johnny Ridestar, had stars in his eyes for her. He did, but he was also confused because of all this God talk. He thought she was a Goddess. And Goddesses could do things. Change things. So to Johnny, not only was she the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, she might be able to make things right.
Cecilia immediately wanted to talk to Jasher about something that had just become incredibly important to her. "Jasher, can we talk about something in private away from here?"
"No." And he turned with a look of complete understanding on his face. "You'll understand."
"Can I talk to her? I mean I'm nobody here. You are all Gods and so important. I'm just some loser that misses his mom so can I talk to the Goddess that took my mom and ask her to give my mom back? If it's about being in the band, of course you can be in the band if you give me my mom back." said Johnny Ridestar.
Tears streamed out of Cecilia's eyes and she looked at Johnny. "You stupid kind beautiful man. You knew. You knew this whole time and you were still nice to me. I'm no Goddess. I'm a fucking monster." Cecilia was crying so hard now she was hyperventilating. She started to get light-headed and felt herself falling sideways out of the booth towards the floor. Like a shot, Johnny slide out of his side booth, moved, and caught her before she hit the floor.
"You are going to learn to stop underestimating Johnny. Some people are just right on time. It's in their nature. And that's better than most abilities." said Jasher with a smile.
"Can you bring my mom back? I think she'd really like you. You are a lot alike." asked Johnny quietly. He was shaking a little as he held her. She made him nervous, but in a good way.
Cecilia looked up into Johnny's eyes. "I can't. I'm so sorry. I don't have any power here."
"But if you could..." said Jasher quietly.
"IF I COULD I WOULD GIVE UP MY LIFE TO BRING HER BACK." shouted Cecilia very loudly. A loud [WRRRWWRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!] sound vibrated outward from Cecilia and she gasped as if winded. Johnny almost dropped her. Folks tables over quieted down and looked towards the commotion. She collected herself and stood before Jasher completely confused yet ready to plead.
"And you just broke the paradox as the paradox owner. And that's why you'll make an excellent guitarist in the band. You've got so much material to draw on. And you'll have an excellent manager. The one the Ridestars would have needed to become what they will become with their second guitarist and Magical Girl keyboardist."
"grant" said Jasher softly, yet it seemed to echo forever. "Cecilia is now Cecilia Ridestar. Accept?"
"What does that mean?" asked Cecilia.
"It means the ultimate reward for 3000 years of hell you personally went through trying to save your galaxy. You simply met Hain. After that meeting, nothing was your fault. Hain was literally ten orders of magnitude smarter than you, and used your hatreds against you. Besides, the end result was, my friend got to kill his greatest nemesis, the most dangerous being in our galaxy. You united the entire timeline, enabling the great healing of the Multiverse, and you made it possible for the music of the Ridestars to save our Multiverse and give me yet a fifth potential way to save us all. For all of that, any sins can be forgiven. If you had never been born, saving this Multiverse wouldn't have even been possible. Your reward for 3000 years of absolute hell will be eternal bliss as part of the force that is a catalyst that helps save a Multiverse with amazing music. Do you accept?"
"Yes"
"Cecilia Ridestar is now granted the right to bring back one Momma Ridestar, pulled directly from the -3233994677994321233 Universe moments before she was tragically erased from all existence by the second most powerful tear in the Multiverse ever, created by what amounted to a shape charge made from a pulsar. Terrifying brilliant work. I may copy it."
"You'll bring her back?" asked Cecilia now on her feet.
"Of course. Now that the paradox you created is resolved, I can."
"Do it please now!" said Cecilia Ridestar.
Hypatia Barnes suddenly blinked back into existence. A side effect of this happening in Jasher's multidimensional bar was, she was now a multidimensional being. An amazingly beautiful, and incredibly naturally talented black woman that sang to her children and was delighted when they sang back from the crib. But you better call her Momma Ridestar if you know what's good for you. She was proud of her kids. And if you miss practice? Even Jasher can't help you.
"KIDS!" was the first word out of Hypatia's mouth. Millie and Merle rush mom for big hugs. Johnny was holding Cecilia as she cried again, so conflicted, but rushed to embrace his mother after doing a quick eye check with her. It was absolutely adorable. Cecilia had fallen in love with Johnny Ridestar.
"Is this the afterlife?" asked Momma Ridestar.
"Well," started Jasher but Boaz was ready. "No, don't do that." said Boaz.
"What?" asked Jasher honestly.
"You are about to do the thing where you draw comparisons between what she said, and reality, and make an argument that this is the afterlife in a way."
"She was brought back from the dead and is now in a higher-dimensional restaurant with her kids. It's a fair comparison."
"Restaurant? Good I'm so hungry." said Momma Ridestar. "What's good here?"
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